Daisy - Who’s Fat?

There’s been a lot of talk lately about overweight cats.  I’d like to step into this debate, or should I say sit right down in the middle of it, and give you my opinion.

Every now and then human guests come to our home, hang out in my living room, and wait for my person to bring them coffee and cookies.  If I happen to be enjoying my favorite chair, maybe snoozing or taking a bath and minding my own business, one of those guests will invariably say, “Oh, what a cute cat!”
But then the intruder will add, “She certainly is big!”

My first response is: “Who asked you?”  I’m perfectly happy with all 15 pounds of my glorious self.  I don’t need some human, especially not one who is sitting there eating cookies and drinking coffee with sugar and milk, telling me I am too big.  And I certainly don’t want anyone putting silly ideas into my person’s head.  The minute I hear the words, “you’re on a diet,” there are going to be some serious problems in this house.

Look, I know that it’s not good to be fat.  It’s not good for you, and it’s not good for me.  But I don’t think I’m fat.  I think I’m rather beautiful, thank you very much.  As my human so often points out in response to these rude comments, I have very thick fur.  I’m sure my fur weighs at least a pound all by itself.

If you’re really worried about your cat’s weight, don’t blame the cat, blame yourself.  Does your cat have at least 50 toys?  Do you play with him enough?  Did you build an escape-proof area outside where he can run and jump while remaining totally safe?  Are you feeding your feline only the very best foods and catering to his every need -- or are you creating some sort of stress in his life that might be causing him to overeat? 

Folks, it’s time to get with the program and make your cat’s health your number one priority.  Remember, the cat comes first. 

- Daisy

 

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Guest Columnist: Wolf

Hello, I’ve been given a special column this month because of the recent decision by the The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service that states that wolves in Greater Yellowstone and the Northern Rockies will no longer receive Endangered Species Act protections starting later this month.

You might not know much about me, but my guess is that you’ve seen drawings or paintings of me, and have heard, maybe on recordings or maybe out in the wilderness, the haunting sound of my noble howl.  I have a long and deep heritage on this land, and my kind are an important part of the natural ecosystem.  The wolf is the largest member of the canine family, and the ancestor to your best friend, the domestic dog.

In recent years wolves like me have been making a comeback in the Great Lakes, Northern Rockies and Southwestern United States.  That’s largely due to the protection we received from the Endangered Species Act.  With those protections gone, some states are already considering all-out war against us, and planning mass killings. Idaho's governor has already announced his intention to kill more than 80% of the wolves in that state, and they have already begun planning large scale wolf eradication efforts through hunting and aerial gunning.

There’s nothing I can tell you that will make you love or appreciate me and my kind, or convince you of our beauty and importance to the natural world.  I am hoping that these are things that you know in your mind, feel in your spirit and sense in your heart.

I am a proud creature, and far be it from me under normal circumstances to ask for help.  But I am asking for your help to save my species today.  Please visit the Defenders of Wildlife Web site page.

Learn more about me and find out what you can do to help save my species.  I want my kind to be around when your children, grandchildren, and great grand-children walk this earth, so that we can walk it in peace, and in nature, together.

 

Orson's Advice Column

Dear Orson,

Which is more loyal, dogs or cats?

Submitted by John O., age 10, Jr. Lamb-Riding Rodeo Champ, San Antonio, Texas

Orson responds:

Ah dear boy, it’s an age old question that orson never tires of answering. No doubt you’ve been impressed by the skill and selfless courage displayed by your canine saviors as they divert the charging lamb after you fall. Courage in the face of danger. But is that “loyalty?”

Think of your sister (Orson knows you have a sister) Tara, and how her feline alarm clock

“Scripples” wakes her from her youthful sleep at precisely the same time each morning.

She’s never late for school because “Scripples” never misses a morning. Consistency and precision, never missing a day. But is that loyalty?

 

For years, people have looked to the “pack mentality” of dogs and the often “aloof” demeanor of cats in order to gain insight into the capacity for dedication possessed by these most beautiful and inspiring of creatures.

“What is going on in their minds?” people ask. “What’s going on in there?”

“What,” “What,” “What”, “Why” “Why” “Why,” they say.

 

Really my young lad, it’s simple (it’s really not THAT simple, but you’re 10, so it’s simple).

Food. He who possesses it, possesses the minds and hearts of adoring cats and dogs everywhere. Notice that each time “Darryl-The-Lamb-Buster-Springer Spaniel” saves your 4’8” hide, he gets a treat. Notice also that every day before heading off to her day of texting and gossip, Tara makes breakfast for precious “Scripples."

Do we love you, and would we be lost without you? Of course!

Just don’t forget dessert.

Take care, little cowboy, and don’t forget to keep an extra treat for “Darryl” in your pocket. You never know when you’re gonna find yourself starin’ down the barrel of a hungry rodeo lamb!

Chow for now,

Orson

 

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